Dude, Seriously
by Patricia de Lioncourt
Summary: Set after "The Building Blocks of Good and Evil," "Hey, Speaking of," and "Witchy Worries." Angel's more than a little peeved that it seems that no one wants to explain where Buffy disappeared to all those months ago. Enter Spike.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Darkwing Duck. Buffy belongs to Whedon, and Darkwing belongs to Disney. No money made.

**A/N:** Now, this crossover is related to the Buffy/DW xover series I have going on, but it totally stands alone. But to make it stand alone, it totally gives away all the spoilers for the first fic in the series, The Building Blocks of Good and Evil. If you don't want that story given away, please go read it, or don't read this. If you don't care, please read on :). If you'd like to read the series, you can find it here. It'll have a new chapter fic attached to it hopefully soon. This one actually leads into a scene within the chaptered sequel. And much thanks to Slinky_And_The_BloodyWands for this idea. Setting is post S7 for Buffy, disregarding the comics, save for a few ideas plucked from here and there. Same for the DW comics. Anyhow, please enjoy!

* * *

**Dude, Seriously.**

"Okay, so tell me, where was Buffy all those months ago?" Angel said, taking a seat at the table across from Spike.

Spike arched a brow at his sire as he took a long drag off his cigarette. The both of them were currently at the Cleveland Slayer House, in the kitchen, to be precise. Angel had dropped in to check up on everyone and share news from the house he had been assigned to—the home base of Scotland. He had heard the tale of Buffy being swept off somewhere by a demon about six months prior, but apparently, Peaches hadn't gotten the rest of the story.

"And how should I know?" Spike said, grinning.

Angel rolled his eyes, leaning forward on the table.

"Every time I ask about it, the reaction I get is the same. Some version of 'you wouldn't believe me if I told you.' I heard that Buffy had to slay a vamp right after coming back, and that it had something to do with that interdimensional coven that Willow's been working on. You were here, damn it, so I figured you would know!"

Spike lifted his hands. "Whoa, whoa. No need gettin' all bent outta shape. It's no big secret or anything."

That seemed to relax Angel, and Spike found it a little bothersome that he was even bringing this up. It had been almost a full six months since Buffy had been in St. Canard, and as far as Spike knew, she had only kept a passing communication between herself and the anthropomorphic duck superhero known as Darkwing Duck. Mainly to make sure that Darkwing's kid, Gosalyn, was being kept safe from the watchers of their world.

"Well, she discovered that slayers aren't exclusive to this dimension," Spike began, a smile tugging at his lips. "What's got you so upset about not knowin' anyhow?"

Angel shrugged. "I don't know. I just feel like that Buffy doesn't trust me anymore."

Spike nodded. "Well, you did sort of run an evil, demonic law firm for a while."

"And then I destroyed it! And you were there too, but she doesn't hold it against _you_."

Spike shrugged. "Whatever, mate, I don't really care. You really wanna know where Buffy was for that one night?"

Angel nodded.

"She was in St. Canard, in a world filled with talking ducks that seriously walked and talked just like we do. They even have slayers and vampires and witches. She met up with a superhero duck goes by the name Darkwing Duck, had to fight Darkwing's evil twin nemesis from yet another dimension named Negaduck. Then, Negaduck pulled a vampiric version of Buffy from yet _another_ dimension. It was the NegaBuffy that Buffy stated when she got back. Oh, right, and Darkwing's daughter ended up getting the powers of a slayer after the current slayer was killed by NegaBuffy. And Willow knew about this dimension existing the whole time because she had been in contact with Darkwing's witch-duck girlfriend, Morgana Macawber."

Angel blinked. After a moment of silence, he blinked again. Finally, he growled, leaning back in his chair like a child that had gotten its toy taken away.

"Whatever. If you don't want to tell me where she went, that's fine."

Spike burst out laughing, which he knew didn't help his case, but he could only shake his head.

"I swear, I'm telling you the truth."

"Just shut it, Spike. Obviously, you're in with Buffy's whole let's-keep-Angel-in-the-dark thing."

"Oh, Peaches, you really are thick. Can't tell the truth when it's right bloody in your face."

Angel leaned forward again, his brow arched. Spike finally managed to reduce his laughter to chuckles.

"So you're asking me to believe that Buffy spent an entire night in a dimension filled with talking _ducks_? And not only that, that this talking duck dimension had heroes and villains, like, cape-style?"

Spike raised two fingers on his right hand, placing his left hand over his un-beating heart.

"Scout's honor," he said.

Angel shook his head. "This is such crap."

At precisely that moment, Dawn burst into the kitchen, managing to stop her mid-run skid by grasping the threshold of the door.

"Spike, come quick! There's something going on in St. Canard. Willow says that they need you."

Spike nodded, putting out his cigarette. "On my way, love."

Angel watched with wide eyes as the both of them exited the kitchen with barely a backward glance at him. After a moment of waiting for them to walk back in and say, "gotcha," the vampire sighed.

"I guess _everybody's_ in on the joke," Angel shouted. Muttering, he added, "Just great."


End file.
